“Life is not fair. Sometimes dreams do not come true. Sometimes you’re not the hero in the story of your life. And sometimes, people die before they’re supposed to. Life, is not fair. But fair has nothing to do with who you are inside. What you dream about. Who you love. Or what you stand for. Life cannot touch that.”—The LXD
There are a lot of different ways one can apply opportunities to different scenarios in life. So why not take that “opportunity” to make a series of posts regarding the different ways that word plays into what’s currently my life, eh?
So, this is Opportunities, Part One: Relationships.
Have you ever had that Girl Next Door? That one special woman who drives you crazy every time you see her? The one that, no matter what, is just destined to slip through your fingers? Well, I’ve had a few of those, and to say that the resulting shamble of a relationship was depressing is an understatement. It’s one thing to have spent all those days dreaming, and all those nights fantasizing. All the awkward and coy “Hello”s and “Hey”s in the hallway when your eyes meet after you’d been staring at one another throughout your entire third period class. Trying to start a conversation about nothing when all you really want to do is profess your feelings and take that girl on the time of her life. Having your heartbeat race through your chest when you start to think that this girl sitting in front of you could very well be the one.
It’s another thing when all of this amounts to nothing. The dream girl you had oh-so hoped for ended up much less than. I thought about this girl so much that my fantasy couldn’t hold up to the bland reality of who she truly was. Another burned me before I even had the chance to defend myself. Others casted me aside before I even had the chance to work up the nerve.
All of that sucks, but what’s worse is when you meet that one that got away for the first time. The one that you knew maybe sort of had a thing for you, but you were too hung up in your own strange world that they went unnoticed, or you weren’t sure they’d ever give you the time of day. The one that, you just happen to find yourself in an extended conversation with and realize that, hey, this person is incredible! Much more captivating than those other girls you drooled over. To know that, as you laugh and smile and share with that one, that this chance was once yours to take, now so far away gone. Those streets to new venues that you once cruised past one time too many. Years later, there’s nothing left to go back to. Neighborhood’s been through reconstruction.
Looking back to high school is like staring at a starry sky for me now. Each girl I never gave the time of day when it was essential. Each girl I convinced myself couldn’t be interested, or attracted, or cared. Each girl that I could have created new memories with is one of my beautiful, shining stars. Their light still oh-so brilliant, yet they burned out so long ago, never to be rekindled.
The opportunities that hurt the most are the ones you’ll never see again. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but even harder to learn from experience. Now it’s time to push on, with the hopes of finding newer, better opportunities. I just pray that, if I do, I’m not stupid enough to let them pass me by ever again.
At 12:50 in the morning, my little brother runs into my room shouting “Raashid, look what I got!” He’s grinning from ear to ear. So, like any good big brother, I grin too and entertain him.
"Whatcha got there, Mal-Mal?"
This fool pulls an envelope from behind his back… with seventy dollars in it. Apparently, his grandparents sent it to him because he’s turning six.
I bit back my rising jealousy and told him to put his money in a safe place, but now my head is racing back and forth between trying to figure out who in their right mind gives a soon-to-be six year old THAT much money, and whether or not I can/should jack him for it.
I’ve decided not to rob him (for now), but seriously. What?
I had to drop some foster children off with their guardian in Eastover today, while doing something I’ve never done in a vehicle before; the speed limit!!
Right smack off 210 near that way they installed two cameras that track both sides of the traffic, to ensure that all the cars on the road stay under 35-40 mph. I almost went nukkin’ futs! How people manage to drive the speed limit on a daily basis with virtually no traffic just amazes me. Heck, in driving school, they teach you that more often than not, doing the speed limit can be dangerous, because a majority of your peers sharing the road are going at least 10-20+ above whatever the zone’s limit is.
Thing is, I’m not necessarily a speed-junkie, but shoot. Give me a decent car and I’ll drive from the DMV to New York in under two hours. I know my way on the road. S’all I’m sayin’.
Ha, they better pray I don’t get a car while I’m in college. It’s a done deal.
And it’s gotten even better. Isaiah Mustafa, the “Old Spice Guy” we all know and love from the most recent “Man Your Man Could Smell Like” ads is now creating live video responses to YouTube and Twitter comments and questions made out to Old Spice. It’s like miniature doses of awesome.
One thing I can’t stand is going an extended amount of time without any type of change. It just goes against basic nature. Life is consistent change over time; no one can deny or resist this common fact. And as all things must continue to evolve as the eternal hourglass releases grain after grain, so too shall my blog.
I’m going to be spending the next couple of days sketching new concepts and drawing up rough drafts in order to deliver a new headspace that captures my current mentality. The whole foot on the boombox thing is aesthetically pleasing, but I’m looking for something that’ll satisfy my eyes a little more.
Look towards a brand new rarasez site, coming your way sometime soon.